Fragile

Some people say your pathetic sitting in the corner on your own

When all you want is time to reflect and be alone

A loved one could leave your side

And it could feel like your on the nastiest bumpy ride

Your best friend could stab you straight in the back

Or you could feel like everyones against you like your under attack

Your always the one to apoligise first

Yet you always come out looking like the bad one and feeling worst

When your in-love and you dont want to be apart

How come its that when you kiss her your then a tart

When you make friends with someone you lost in the past

Why does everyone back away from you so very fast

When you decide to change and colour your hair

How come everyone in the street finds it amusing to stop and stare

When your really hyper and feel like having fun and being a bit of a freak

Why is it that people put you down and make you feel so weak

When you want to hold your girl's hand but her friends dont think your good enough

You just stand and look her in the eyes and think if I loves her enough

why dont you say its nothing to do with you so tough

When you feel there is nothing left in this cruel world for you

Just stop and think your not the only one there is other people too

Look in the mirror and smile at what you have got

Dont be as fragile anymore dont, look at what your not!

Emo

THe Un-sent Poem

Sometimes I think it's just a crush,
that it is ok if its not me whom u like,
so once in a while i give myself a punch,
to tell me myself stop dreaming for you are my life..

You are my sunshine that never rains
I am whom you own and reign
like a sheep that can be either loved nor slaugthered
so please never let your feelings for me be faded..

I really miss you badly,
so i try to forget you
but i know , I'll live my life sadly
knowing that all i Love .. is You..

I tell myself to be patient, to give you time
But always get impatient waiting for you msg or call
each and everyday i wait for you're sign
to tell me its time for you to be mine...

So i try to close my eyes to get distracted
but all I see is you, whom i always wanted
I promise with my life I wont take you for granted
so please tell me if I'm ever.. Wanted..

From. H

This is another emo post..

thinking back..
remembering all that we had done..
all that we shared..
from sweet to bitter..
everything slowly change..
the rain came.. but nvr stopped..
it flooded both my eyes..
though the feelings for me is gone..
how long have i not seen you..
now where are you ?
what are u thinking ?
now all i have is the memories that we had been together..
as i look out the window..
many times have i seen the image of your face..
i get closer to you and yet you vanish..
now i'm afraid that you'll even forget me..
why do we always regret after losing someone..
i didnt get the chance to say..
i wanna be with you till time ends..

From : H

Now I know I messed up bad
You were the best I ever had
I let you down in the worst way
It hurts me every single day
I'm dying to let you know
Now I'm here to say
I'm sorryAnd ask for a second chance
Cause when it all comes down to the end
I could sure use a friend
So many things
I would take back
You were the best I ever had
I don't blame you for hating me
I didn't mean to make you leave
You and I were living like a love song
I feel so bad, I feel so bad that you're gone
Now I know you're the only one that I want
I want you back, I want you
I can't believe that
I threw away all our dreams
I can't believe now that you're gone how much you mean to me
I feel so bad, I feel so bad
You were the best I ever had
I can't believe that I threw away all our dreams
I can't believe now that you're gone how much you mean to me
I feel so bad, I feel so bad
You were,
You were the best I ever had..

WTF........
WHY MY LIFE SUCK TO THE MAXXXXXXXX...
AFTER I OFF MY ENGINE.. EVERYTHING DONT SEEM TO GO ACCORDING TO PLAN...
NOT ONE BIT..
FALLING FOR THE WRONG ONE.. GETTING HURT LIKE A DICK HEAD..

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
>> I JUST CANT BE YOUR FRIEND <<

Waitin..
I’ll wait, any time or place..
depending on your feelings..
i have no doubts..
this is love..
i'm guessing that you've always wanted to make it clear..
i'm disappointed in myself..
from heaven, i drop down into the abyss..
i'm so helpless..
i'm willing to change..
what can i do ?
to start afresh from the beginnning..
just give me a chance..
There is no way that I can just be an ordinary friend..
My feelings are so deep..
How can you tell me to just let go?
But you say to me that you only want to be my friend..
In your heart I am only a friend and not a lover..
I appreciate you telling me how you feel..
But the love that I feel for you, I cannot take back..
so I can’t just be your friend..
I’m not just going to be an ordinary friend..

Best Poem Ever Written.. For my New Life..

This life.. Has been ok.. A lot of ups.. And more Downs..
i've met this girl on Naomi's Bday..
I dont know is she the right one..
or..
Am i the right one for her..
Though she attracts me a lot.. but still.. haiz..
This Poem is dedicated to her..

Titled - How I Feel..
You have no idea how i feel..
But i know my feelings are for real..
I've watched you from far..
I've even prayed on every star..
That one day.. You'll feel the same..
Your heart and soul i will proclaim..
I've tried to tell you but words fail..
My heart skips a beat and my skin turns pale..
What if you reject my every advance?
What if you don't give romance a chance?
But soon.. I'll be ready to lose pride..
For i know I'll regret if I've not tried..
So do tell me if we could be..
For it would mean every single thing to me..

Truly Your's.. Jay

Naomi..

Naomi..
how much do i love you..
even i dont know tat..
But.. NO matter what..
what i know is i DO..
Love you..
Nothing can change the fact tat..
u were my girl..
my love..
my life..
i waited for ages..
for a girl like u..
to come and save me..
why cant me be together..
make this world..
a perfect world..
for Us.. two..

im sure it'll work..
the world of mine without you..
is like a night sky without stars..
nothing to brighten it up..
nothing to acompany the moon..
ill be strong this time..
even if the world destructs..
even the sky colapse on me..
every tear i cry..
i cry for you..
every timme i live..
i live for you..

nothing can be compared to you..
if there is something i can sacrifice now..
just to be with you..
ill DO IT NOW !
without a single second of hestation..
my dreams..
our dreams..
are just infront of us..
why dont we go and make it come true..
lets forget about everything else..
and go over the sea
fly to the heavens in the sky..
today..
ill rejoice for ive met you..
its the natural thing to do..
i wont let anyone to interupt us..
ill forget about EVERYTHING ELSE..

i want us to be ONE..
i want to fly up to the sky..
a sky that exist for only both for us..
where angels celebrate our love..

how lucky we are ..
from friends into lovers..
for lovers into soulmates..
even the sun is not as glaring as your beauty..

all i ever wanted to do..
is to be with you..
having live the rest of my life..
with you..
i want to hold you in my arms..
play a song for only you..
feel my heart as it beats for you..
life seems so boring without you..
ive waited for ages for the existance such as you..
now.. i finally found you..
how close we are to that happy ending..
im yours..
stay beside me..
and heaven shall exist down on earth..
Believe not in me..
but the love we shared..
believe we're not dreaming..
for reality is we do exist for our love..

You're too special for me to forget..
every time i see your face..
your sweet innocent smile..
makes my life shine with happiness..
we used to share this love..
this pure love ..
not comtaminated by any other elements..
God has put me on this earth to look for you..
to be with you..
to hold you..
i cant hold back my tears anymore..
i cant stand not hearing your voice..
this burning flame inside me..
wants to burn a love hole into my chest..
revealling all that i want to show you..
ive never stop hoping..
i dont believe that was just a dream..
im stuck in this dark corner..
waiting for my death..
the sun now shines.. but my eyes refuses to look at it..
every beam of light..
every strip of hope..
reminds me of you..
why must we suffer like this..
why is this so pain..
why the ocean can be so calm even when my heart is screaming ?
i want to go back..
back into time..
the time when i have nothing to care..
nothing but you..
now..
i give up my life..
ill give you anything ..
ill give you..my life..
anything and everything that i can ever have..
dont ask me..
why cant i move on..
i dont know the answer..
all i know is i want you..
i need you..
that you and i..
our love will nvr die..
the sky that shines for you and me..
i watch as the sun sets down the horizon..
i still remember ..
The day i kissed you.. and You were Mine..
someone signed me up for love..
i didnt want it..
because now i cant live without it..
only you can make me feel so..
you know me..like nobody knows..
no one can be compared to you..
thousand of stars shine for you and me..
now slowly.. one by one.. goes missing..
knowing that my days are comin to an end..
allow me to steal your shadow.. To shade me from this pain..
allow me to steal your images.. In my mind..
ive often dream about you and me..
we were out there.. happily together..
and your voice.. saying..
i love you..
i want to be with you..
for your love is worth my life that ill be there for you..
to ask me to forget you..
is like asking me to jump from the highest point..
i just cant stop loving you..
i can pretend to say goodbye..
but i dont want to lie to you anymore..
no.. i wont stop loving you..
Why SHOULD I ???
Be with me.. one more time..
i want to hold you in my arms once again..
let me protect you one more time..
no matter what you say..
you'll be in my heart..
living in there..
now and always..
there are things in life..
that will happen if you keep believing in it..
trust me one more time..
take a look through my eyes..
you can see the truth inside them..
every single word i say will not be just words for you to believe..
it will be everything ill have to do..
that shows how much i want you..
how much i need you..
everything changes..
but not love..
dont leave me here..
i cant afford to lose you..
all the things that you can change..
not this please..
you'll be amazed what you find..
Please..
Just take a look through my eyes..
and tell me.. what you've found..



The One Whom Lives For You..
Jay..

Ive Found out.. My true feelings..

I've came to know..
I'm Desparate for You..
I'm having grief everytime i find myself awake..
i tried to let it go.. but i cant..
i found out..
To spare oneself from grief at all costs,
can be achieved only at the price of total detachment,
which Includes the ability to experience Happiness..
What people say that The greatest griefs are those we cause ourselves...
is indeed true..
But for me.. its Tearless..
Tearless grief bleeds inwardly..
I can feel it bleeding every single second im a alive..
I love you so.. why must we say goodbye..
Why does it take a minute to say hello and forever to say goodbye?
I dont want to say bye to you..
No matter what..
There are no good-byes, where ever we are, you’ll always be in my heart.
A good-bye is never painful unless you’re never going to say hello again.
Being strong sometimes means being able to let go.
Then ill admit.. Im not strong..
I'm as weak as u make me..
Where is the “good” in goodbye?
All i know.. is that what we shared before..
Was good.. not now..
Now is worst as Hell..
I rather burn in there for eternity..
Than to live here.. slowly..
Dying...
Sometimes you have to let go of someone to see if there’s anything there to hold on to.
Sometimes you have to let go of the one you love to find out if there is really something there.
Now.. I've let go.. please come back..
i need you so badly..
It is the Beginning of something simple
and the End of everything else.
I’m torn between what was and what could be.
People try to tell me..
Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.
Finally I found out..
How hard it was to lose something you ever wanted to have..
A part of you has grown in me,
together forever we shall be,
never apart,
maybe in distance,
but not in the heart.
The world is round and the place which may
seem like the beginnning
may also be the end.
Our song.. Ive always listen to..
The song is ended,
but the melody lingers on.
Now.. i finnally understood..
That im not a genius for love..
The real genius for love
lies not in getting into,
but getting out of love.
My love........
If I had a single flower for every time I think about you,
I could walk forever in my garden.
I dont want to wake up now..
I don’t want to wake up and realize
what I was dreaming was right in front of my shut eyes.
I want to stop saying hellos..
for fear of saying goodbyes..
U are Beautiful..
However..
The definition of a beautiful woman is one who loves me.
You don’t love a woman because she is beautiful,
but she is beautiful because you love her.
Each time I miss you,
a star falls down from the sky.
So, if you looked up at the sky and found it dark with no stars,
it is all your fault.
You made me miss you too much!
I really Do miss you..
People ask.. when will you wake up ?
When will you stop missing her..?
When will you Stop loving her..
I told them..
I once went to the ocean..
I dropped a tear in the ocean.
and..
The day you find it is the day I will stop missing Her.
The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected.

Although we’ve come to the end of the road,
still I can’t let you go,
it’s unnatural,
you belong to me,
I belong to you ...
Love..

Giving Up.. On Life..

Another Emo song..

-Berhenti Berharap..

Aku tak percaya lagi
dengan apa yang kau beri
aku terdampar di sini
tersudut menunggu mati
aku tak percaya lagi
akan guna matahari
dengan mampu menerangi
sudut gelap hati ini
aku berhenti berharap
dan menunggu datang gelap
sampai nanti suatu saat
tak ada cinta kudapat
kenapa ada derita
bila bahagia tercipta
kenapa ada sang hitam
bila putih menyenangkan...

Chorus:
aku pulang...tanpa dendam
kuterima.. kekalahanku
aku pulang...tanpa dendam
kusalutkan.. kemenanganmu

bridge:
kau ajarkan aku.... bahagia
kau ajarkan aku.... derita
kau tunjukkan aku.... bahagia
kau tunjukkan aku.... derita
kau berikan aku.... bahagia
kau berikan aku.... derita

The Sweetest thing..

These two things really talk about the love life that has passed.. please. Enjoy..

The Song..

PAST
You’re in my arms
And all the world is calm
The music playing on for only two
So close together
And when I’m with you
So close to feeling alive
A life goes by
Romantic dreams will stop
So I bid my goodbye and never knew
So close was waiting, waiting here with you
And now forever I know
All that I wanted to hold you
So close
So close to reaching that famous happy end
Almost believing this was not pretend
And now you’re beside me and look how far we’ve come
So far... we are... so close

NOW
How could I face the faceless days
If I should lose you now?
So close
So close
And still so far..

THINKING BACK.. AND NOW..
The best thing about tonight's that we're not fighting
Could it be that we have been this way before
I know you don't think that I am trying
I know Im already.. HURT down To the Core

I always swore to you i'd never fall apart
You always thought that I was stronger
I may of failed
But I have loved you from the start

But hold your breathe..
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
Your impossible to find

My Heart's Message..
This is not what I intended..
I really wanted you to be a part of me..
But I know that i've been a loser..
I've Never thought I'd Live Without you here..
I just know I LOVE YOU..
Nothing can change that..
Time seems too weak to Erase this feelings..
Never have I thought I'd miss you as much as i do NOW..

LASTLY..
For now..
I Miss You,
More and More..
Each day..
More Than Yesterday..
Less Than Tomorrow..

~ Jay..

Flirtish

Today.. ntg much can be said.. same old stoning in the house.. came back from school.. wen to the pool saw Francior.. and his girlfriend ~~ and the gf's brother. lol they were.. kissing.. kissing.. and kissing.. the whole time kissing.. when we sitting in towerblock.. kissing.. come down by lift.. kissing.. bring them to bangsar.. kissing.. De Haven kissing.. ARGH >.< why cant i kiss ?? lol.. anyway. i already know the answer. haha.. ok.. this is stupid. ppl say it can release things.. stuff. its nt really working. lol. mayb coz ppl doint know about it.. lol .. but i dunn wanna let ppl know. so ? how ?
in De Haven.. cystal and wen jun came. crystal know sheesha comin so she cancelled her.. "go early to tuition plan" ( yes !! temptation plan SUCCESS >.< ) so she had a few puff then she go.. after tat.. i went after around 25 mins.. was late for tuition. told teacher my fren was sick .. nice excuse ? lol .. after tat.. come back.. now in my house.. stoning as usual and writing this post For Me Myself and I.. lol.. tata ^^

!st Day of Life

Reading people's blog.. From friends.. all of them said.. blogging can release your Pressure.. or wtv inside.. Though i'm nt really planning to spill all my personal life here. but.. yeah.. just wanna try it out and if it does work.. i'll think about it ^^
Today is the 1st day. 1st breath of this blog. so.. dont expect much..
This blog is 1 day younger than me so to speak.. so.. lets see how it goes..
Yesterday.. went out with friends.. went to watch... tat CROC movie.. its was.. somehow.. bored.. and short.. BUT FULLLLL OF SUSPENS AND BLOOOD >.< lol but it was kinda shocking each time tat 6 m long corc come and bite someone off. haha..
Its been almost 2 week now. ( if those whom are close. You would understand ) life is somehow.. short.. and long. i wish it would end now. after THAT incident. dont really have much will/reason to live. though this may sound stupid but i've gone through this and its very very LONG.. last one took 4 years just to get my mind of her. This is really tiring.. After i've put my heart to it.. and *puff* its gone.. I REALLY DO LOVE HER !!! but what can i do ? or.. What should i do ? wanna few choices ?
1 . Shot myself in the head and get over with it ?
2 . Go for another try when she said its impossible ?
3 . Stone around and wait till she turns back ? ( almost impossible for her )
4 . Just give up and go look for one whom i can love ?
5 . Just give up and go back to what took my 2.5 years to retire from ?
6 . Give up girls..
Still dont know.. anyone ? pls help..