J

Birthday Curse

2010-08-10T07:52:00.000-07:00

Today is my Birthday
so today i shall ask
for today is the day
on whether we will last.

Just how to make you mine
as i don't have a clue
so tell me where to find
the key, to you.

For days and many nights
I sat, to think
and found you are my light
which makes my heart sink.

I want you to be true
so I'll cancel my condition
I'll even promise your request
so may i have a confession ?

So free me love
prove our love is true
so tell me love
Do You Love Me Too .

2010-01-13T07:49:00.000-08:00

I don't know how else to put this.
It's taking me so long to do this.
I'm fading away and I can't see straight.

My muscles feel its stuck there,
My body's curled in a U-shape.
I put on my best, but I'm still afraid.

Propped up by lies and promises.
Saving my place as life forgets.
Maybe it's time I saw the world.

I guess I'm only here for a while.
And patience is not my style,
And I'm so tired that I got to go.

Where am I supposed to hide now?
What am I supposed to do?
Did you really think I wouldn't see this through?

Tell me I should stick around for you.
Tell me I can have it all.
Or I'll be too tired to care and I have to go.

I get to go heaven for a few days.
For I'm leaving there in a few ways.
They throw me a bone just to pick me dry.

I'm following her not directions.
I crawl up inside for protection.
I'm told what to do and I don't know why.

I'm over-existing in her life now.
I'm over the myths and promises now.
I don't really mind if now..
I just fade away..

Deep.. but Meaningless

2010-01-02T13:14:00.000-08:00

Deep and Meaningless is all i can ever say..

Tired of getting my heart broken over and over again..
- I'll help you and go through it with you.....

Lets just say I believe if a guy do like a girl.. He'd do anything to make it happen..
- Anything would not just be what I'd do for you...

Do you know we can manipulate ourselves to love someone..
So how can we say, I'm falling for you.
Its stupid
- Tag me as stupid then.. as I've already fallen for you.....

The kiss.. Sorry i started it..
- Thank you.. for that kiss.. that moment.. that time frame......

I miss you...
- I miss you even more......

I like you too...
- I love you.......

- Whats on your mind......
You...
- What about me ?
Just you... =)

- I'm afraid to lose you.....
We have time =)

I wanna hug you to sleep.. baby..
- I wanna hug you to sleep every night and wake up seeing you everyday of my life..

- I'll have to wait till your exams is over ?
It'll be worth the wait darling..

Let me go
- I want you even more

Move on
- To whom who is more special than you ?

It's not gonna happen
- Never say Never....

You're just someone.. Never Knew I Needed..

2010-01-01T02:22:00.000-08:00

I'm afraid, in the future..
I can’t talk to you anymore,
it’s not that I am mad at you,
it’s just that when I talk to you
I realize how much I love you
and when I realize how much I love you,
I realize I can’t have you
and that makes me
love you even more.

Sometimes..
I don’t miss her,
I just miss who she was few hours ago..
But no matter what..
I promised her that I would be there for her..
and i intend to keep that promise..

Which Road Do I Pick ?

2009-10-27T11:32:00.000-07:00

I want to go back to the past..
I know I'm in the wrong..
Please forgive me..
Please let me make it up to you..
Dont reject me..
Dont shake your head..
I've now come to a cross road..
How many problems can one heart take..
Give me time..
Just a little bit..
I want to do everything..
and anything...
For you..
Naomi..

2009-08-31T06:53:00.000-07:00

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education:
You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

[Part 1] Self Confidence: 77% -> You're confident.
[Part 2] Sensory Perceptions: 76% -> Sensitive to stimulation around you.
[Part 3] Body Language: 73% -> Quite good at utilizing on occasions.
[Part 4] Conversational Skills: 93% -> A real talent!
[Part 5] Empathy For Others: 87% -> An extremely kind and warm person.

Do you still think of your ex:
Your ex clearly broke your heart and you haven't yet moved on. Remember that time heals all sorrows, so look positively towards the future. Don't be blinded to the love that might be surrounding you right now.

What kind of person are you:

You are a sociable and outgoing person. You enjoy attending parties and seek attention from people wherever you can. The closer you place your words together, the more afraid you are of being left alone. Loneliness is your one great fear.

Favorite place in the house:
You are imaginative and colorful. You attract people just by the way you talk. This can make some people feel jealous.

What of your life:

Here is the analysis:You are imaginative and colorful. You attract people just by the way you talk. This can make some people feel jealous.

What do you think of love:
Here is the analysis:You are imaginative and colorful. You attract people just by the way you talk. This can make some people feel jealous.

2009-08-31T03:40:00.000-07:00

I cant believe it..

tell me I'm dreaming..

that We are still We...

it was amazing..

said I were lucky..that I finally found You...

It was on a busy day, that we met..

and i just don't know where to go..

as we just met.. so you said let's go slow..

but no..I just told you..

I'm to keep you from the cold...

sorry i cant take it..

why did you fake it..

why did we kiss...

and I'm just down..

you left me with a note without a sound..

I figured I must stop being such a child..

you never know how much I've been going round..

how my heart just rounds of your down...

Ill be your teddy bear ..

Ill be your cloud..

Ill take you round and round..

If you dont mind i can be your standing ground..

even if that means I'd drown...

Why Life ?

2009-08-25T05:24:00.000-07:00

Why does it feel like the world is ending
why does it feel like my dreams are fading
why when hope is near it just shatters
why when i want something, it just never happens

why when we all cry, tears roll down our eyes
why when we are happy, time just flies by
why when i need something, it just goes dissapearing
why when i need someone, they just go missing

why is that in life nothing seems right
yet the weaknesses we dont see by sight
why is that when everything seems so perfect
yet the truth it is a just all an act

For to me, life itself is just not worth it
for my soul in this present life just dont fit
For i fail to see pass the dark to the light
for i fail to see from wrong to right

I'm a failure both in love and in life
so everytime i reach the peak i take a sigh
I'm just very fortunate to be this lucky
so i treasure everytime i felt happy

So now i say goodbye to the world
as i leave not even saying a word
to all the people whom fucked up my life
this is the end , in which u all like..

XoXo

Ruler of My Heart..

2009-08-20T06:14:00.000-07:00

Jillian , the one who rules my heart,
4 years of dominating me,
Yet I still dont know where to start.

You might say i lie,
You might say i con,
But how would you know,
When you are not the one.

4 years to me is nothing but time,
But what really means to me
is what of you and I,

Loving you is my biggest wish,
Please let me love you at least,
Give me a chance for this,
So sometimes i wonder,
Who do i love deep under,
And i love you and no other..

2009-08-10T08:43:00.000-07:00

God, please show me a sign,
for what should i do at this time,
as my heart is flooded with tears,
as my soul is conquered by fear.

i always had wonder
how is that we are together,
God is always been who i ask,
Yet our love just didnt last.

Now i have to go find myself,
Maybe have to lock myself in a cell,
All I see now is the fucking weather,
I had believed our love would had beem deeper.

Now that im leaving, what can i say ?
i want you even more everyday,
loving you more in every way,
Yet on my bed , i lay all day.

All i do is wait for your call,
For you are my all,
It almost feels like the end,
As though you are my only friend.

When i walk out the door,
I want youso much more,
You are what all my life meant,
For you are definately a God-sent.

Once Upon A Time..

2009-08-07T23:26:00.000-07:00

Once there was a man who had an orange shirt.
Once there was a girl who went out dancing in a skirt.
Once there was a park they found they fed the frantic ducks.
Once there was a couple, happy, who couldn't believe their luck.

Once they went out dancing, and had a movie date.
Once early in the morning she surrendered to her fate.
Once he said "I love you" and she had to love him too.
Once they had a future, happy when one and one made two.

Now they are both lonely, now they live alone.
Now she has a cold and empty,tidy hollow home.
Now he has a fountain of tears where once there was a heart.
Now she has decided that they really have to part.

Now that she has nothing, she feels she is complete.
Now that he can't dance again, his heart weighs down his feet.
Now he thinks about her, all the memories locked away.
Now he tries so hard to forget the happy laughing days.

Is she thinking of him still? Does she cry still, now and then?
Is he ever going to win back the girl he loves again?
Is she glad it's over? Can she get on with her life?
Is she really so very certain she wouldn’t be his wife?

Given all the laughter, fun and sunny times they had.
Given all the heartache, lies and times he made her mad.
Given all the tears now, the loneliness and pain.
Given all the risks, would she do it all again?

Can she really say that she won't want him back one day?
Can she really like her life now better in this way?
Can she forget his face, the mess, the giggles and the love?
Can she find someone else to love her more than he could love?

If he really loved her, she said he'd let her go.
If she understood his feelings then she would know that it's not so.
If he were less stubborn, if she could care much less.
If they had never spoken, there wouldn't be this sorry mess.

But time has taken prisoners, their lives are now entwined.
But even if they never meet again, the past is not left behind.
But can he start all over? Just forget her and move on?
But even if he can, will she be glad with what she's won?

Is that really what he wants, to never see her smiling face again?
Will it make him happy, will he live on without pain?
Will he be thinking of her, is he too proud to cry?
Will it wrench his heart in two if he sees her kiss another guy?

And can she forgive his faults, and accept him as he is.
He wants to have her back and hope for nothing but forgive.
She's told him that its over, that she may never want him back.
He's told her that he loves her and though its a risk, he'll live with that.

She wants him to live with patience, to give her time to heal.
The past is not yet over and it's left a scar so real.
We don't choose who we can love, and love doesn't really die.
You can find it in your heart again, I love you, so please try..

2009-08-06T11:02:00.000-07:00

I wish I wrote this love note
with my own blood
so you know it came straight from my heart.'

Sometimes if you love someone so much,
it will actually hurt more.
Every minute spent with her
comes with an hour of missing her.
Just when you thought
everything would be perfect,
everything falls apart..

When you put that ring on my neck,
you put a chain of death around my heart.

Ive found the Best Organ
The heart is the only broken instrument that works..

I was born
when you kissed me.
I died
when you left me.
I lived a few weeks
while you loved me.

Should I SMILE
because you?re my friend
or CRY because that is all we will ever be?
A million WORDS would not bring you back,
I know because I've TRIED.
Neither would a million TEARS,
I know because I've CRIED.

How can you be FRIENDS with SOMEONE
if EVERYTIME you LOOK at them
it makes you WANT them even MORE?
If anyone accused me of being heartless,
it?s only because you have it.

The hardest thing in life is
to watch the person you love,
love someone else.

I miss the way you laughed,
I miss the way we talked,
I miss the times we had,
I miss the love we shared,
but most of all
I miss the way you cared.

I think the nightmares in my sleep are terrifying,
and then I wake up,
and the real nightmare begins.

When you dream with a broken heart..
Waking up is the hardest part..

On nights like this, I held her in my arms.
I kissed her so many times under the infinite sky.

What does it matter that my love couldn't keep her.
The night is full of stars and she is not with me.

Although this may be the last pain she causes me,
and this may be the last poem I write for her.

ello !

2009-07-11T21:50:00.000-07:00

badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, mushroom, mushroom.

badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, mushroom, mushroom.

badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, mushroom, mushroom.

badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, it's a snake. Snake, snake, oooh, it's a snake.

i have smexy buntut :D

-meowww~~

stop reading this blog and from now on read
www.whosetheone.blogspot.com

2009-04-23T20:41:00.001-07:00

Please Play This While Reading The next Post.. If not You Will Feel Dumb..

I've Been Spared Of PHYSICAL Pain.. But Not From MENTAL PAIN..

2009-04-23T20:01:00.000-07:00

My hands are tied to An empty reflection..
As I stare at myself without your affection..
And wonder why we only see what we want to see..
For what i see now.. just isn't me..

I've lost you for now.. and ever..
Though i know when you'll come back.. never..
I've loved you so..
I just dont know how to show..
This cant go on..
It just feels so wrong..
My heart is gone..
I know this feeling..
My heart breaks..
Only when its beating..

All i want from you is simple protection..
For now i've lost you and my direction..
For everytime u don't say a word..
You show to me the world..

Grandma..
My heart is left to pieces..
Rest In Peace.

These Flowers Are For You Up Above..
Show the Angels.. How Did you Love..

Our Brother;s Bday

2009-03-25T07:41:00.000-07:00

GENTLEMAN... LADIES
CHEOW SIANG IS THE MAIN CHARACTER TODAY..

we went to Fish and Co as it is out tradition to go there for occassions like these.. EVERYONE WAS LATE.. except our bday boy... haha.. anyway.. as usual.. went to De-Haven after that.. and all we did.. was sheesha drink and talk cock... a LOT OF COCK.. haha as usual..

FIRSTLY.. I PRESENT TO YOU.. SHEEESHAAAA

ME

THE COOL KATHERINE.. * YEAH RITE xp *
THE... TRYING TO BE HOT KEEN KING.. * NOOB SHEESHA-ER *

TRYING TO COVER HIS FACE / TRYING ACT COOL ONCE AGAIN..

FUNKY HO LEE

NOW SECONDLY.. AFTER DRINKING...

BOON YANG.. FASCINATED BY KEEN KING NOOB SHEESHA-ING
OUR HERO HAS FALLEN.. AFTER LONG ISLAND.. 2 CUPS =.=
STILL FUCKED UP.. SOMEMORE GO DRINK CARLSBERG
PANDA (IN RED / THE BDAY BOY) ... WASN'T DRUNK.. HE WAS BORED OF KEEN KING NOOB-NESS
'
AND THIRDLY AS ALWAYS..
'ITS ME AND HER.. MY LIFE.. MY HOPES.. MY DREAMS.. MY LOVE..

AND SINCE TODAY THE SPOTLIGHT IS ON MY BROTHER.. I'LL GIVE HIM HIS PRIVATE SPACE HERE.. LOL..
NOW.. I PRESENT TO YOU...
THE LEGENDARY...
...................KUNG FU PANDA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
.........................................................................WITH A CLOWN.. XD

YOU ARE MY SUN THAT SHINES A PATH IN MY LIFE...

LASTLY.. A VIDEO OF THE BDAY BOY.. FORCING HIM TO DOWN AK-47...
........................DOUBLE...
.............................TRIPLE...
................................FOUR-PLE...
....................................I DONT KNOW HOW MANY DOSE... MUAHAHAHHA...

2009-03-11T04:52:00.000-07:00

My love, my heart, my soul is my gift to you
Your smile, your love is the only reward I would want

Precious, like a gem made by angels to shine forever
Releasing the passion inside me that burns for you
Intertwining our destinies, so that we two soul mates
Now and forever, can live out our hopes and dreams
Creating our own bond of life, to overcome the challenges
Explore the mysteries, and to enjoy life as it should be
Sharing the peace and love, that everyone looks for
So in the end I want nothing, because I have everything I need

2009-03-03T05:27:00.000-08:00

What happenned that day in AC.. under the rain..
The day inspired me.. U all out there better enjoy this..
bcoz it MADE ME SICK.. >.< (stupid rain)

I was waiting for you last night
under a broken street light
at least that light will be fixed
unlike my heart..
You're the one and only,
whom can heal my heart and make it perfect..

I keep her picture
So whenever I'm lonely
I can hug the picture to sleep..

Sometimes if you love someone so much,
it will actually hurt more.
Every minute spent with her
comes with an hour of missing her.

Just when you thought
everything would be perfect,
everything falls apart.

I need guidance to get through the day
and a blade to get through the night.

Relationships are like crystals,
you don't realize how much you love it
until it breaks..

It's amazing how someone
----can break your heart,
but you still love them,
----with all the little pieces.

2009-02-28T20:08:00.000-08:00

This is a post after so long.. sry for the absence again..

: Katherine :

I have tried to find the words
To tell you how I feel
The words that will convince you
That what I feel is real

I know that you’ve been hurt by love
And I’ve been wounded too
But together we can heal the scars
Of loves which made us blue

I had spent some time avoiding love
With its anguish and its pain
But since the moment I first saw you
I’ve learned to love again

If you could only see with my eyes
The beauty you would behold
And with my heart you’d really know
The love of which I’ve told

I know you feel the same as I
When in your arms I lie
I can feel the love that’s in your heart
And I’m yours until I die

: Katherine :

2009-02-28T20:07:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the absence..
//Valentine post will be up soon.. //
here on this post

.....................................................................

Valentines.. was a DISASTER.. bloody bastard..

plan everything done.. got the pent house.. dinner reservation. fireworks.

JUST THE FUKING CAR AND DRIVER.. PUKIMA..

zzz

sryy.. ^^ im a nice guy...

so anyway. change of plans..

went with evaline and why keat.. on a double date..

yes.. they.. dating. cute couple though.. show u pic later. lol

then went to mont kiara..

thought it was kinda time to ask them to be our valentine..

rannn all the way to the cake shop.. order 2 cup cakes with flowers on it..

picture later la.

then.. knelled down.. weeeeeeee...

"Will you be my Valentine baby ? "

stunned.. kissed.. " Yes.. "

thats all..

2009-02-02T02:20:00.000-08:00

My heart's Content..

Love cant be found through looks
Like the romance you read in books;
No matter how far away we are
Baby we have to try really hard;
I will keep holding on tight
For it seems to be my only right;
We should stay together... Forever
Will I break your heart... Never;
Sweetheart we will be together
No matter how bad we show our anger;
You got me trippin' over you
Every time you say "I love you"
I love you with all my heart because Your My Everything...

Our Conversation For Yesterday..
After Thinking long.. long.. long...
I've come to realise..
Sometimes baby..
We should try..
It might not be as good as expected..
It might not be as good as stories..
But it would be as good as fairy tales..
Its Possible..
For...
" Once in a while,
in the middle of an ordinary life,
love gives us a fairy tale "

Lonely Night Here Without You..

2009-02-01T03:16:00.000-08:00

When I look at the moon.
i hope you're looking too.
because I'm thinking of you
and I'm hoping you're thinking of me.
but one night I dreamt,
I looked up at the moon
and you appeared behind me
wraped your arms around me
and whispered in my ear "I love you"

the nights we stayed up talking are days I'll never forget
the days we screwed around drinking are the days I'll always remember
but the days and nights we layed there and held each other are the days I cherish.

ATTENTION..

2009-01-28T00:56:00.000-08:00

WE ARE NOT TOGETHER..... YET....
SO.. PLEASE DONT TALK ABOUT IT...
ITS REALLY HARD FOR ME... TQ..
THOSE WHOM READ THIS BLOG ARE NORMALLY CLOSE TO ME..
SO TRY TO TELL UR FRIENDS TO SHUT IT.. TQ..
IF THEY ASK WHY.. GIVE THEM A PUNCH =.=

THIS IS MY DREAM THAT I DREAMT OF HER...

She and I upon a hilltop,
She in my arms,
And I standing in the light.
I stared at her face,
And she looked,
With downcast eyes,
Past me into the light.
“Let my eyes take yours,”I asked,In silence,
“So you might see me.”
She breathed in,
Her eyes,
Rising to mine,
Blushing,
she could see me.
Her dress rose again,
I whispered Kate,
And stood her up
Eyes transfixed,
with no minds to the world.
Only You.. and me..

And Today.. All I Wanted To Do..
Is to lay in bed with her..
She.. sleeping in my arms..
Both our mind connected..
As I look at her Angelic Face..
All I want is her Love..
All I wanna know is..
Why dont she just fall for me..

I Miss You Baby..

2009-01-26T20:40:00.000-08:00

This is a poem For..
My baby..
=: Katherine Lim Seok Yan..

Baby.. I'm so far away from you..
You whom stole my heart,
Here to there seems like ten thousand miles,
and now i've got to walk ten thousand miles from home,
to steal my heart back from you.
this never would have happened if i hadn't gotten so attached.
and i know that every moment i'll wish for your touch.
i'll miss you forever and always,
like every time i said before.
and maybe you won't think of me much,
but i'll keep my memories;
leave you to yours.
i've got to understand that we can't be,
and i was never truly yours.

as i press my fingers to your empty pictures,
i can feel my pulse;
like i felt every time i pressed my hands to your skin.
and it begins to fade away with every beat,
beneath this frozen frame.

and i can keep my pride,
in knowing that i was strong enough to love for a hundred years,
or at least until i'm gone.
honestly, i don't think i'll ever live that long.
i don't believe in eternity,
though we seemed to stand forever;
because i never really believed in God.
but i always believed in you.

I missed you Dearly..
To Those Whom Don'd Understand How I Feel..
Not all scars show,
not all wounds heal,
Sometimes you can't always see,
The pain someone feel..

2008-12-30T08:08:00.000-08:00

Fragile

Some people say your pathetic sitting in the corner on your own

When all you want is time to reflect and be alone

A loved one could leave your side

And it could feel like your on the nastiest bumpy ride

Your best friend could stab you straight in the back

Or you could feel like everyones against you like your under attack

Your always the one to apoligise first

Yet you always come out looking like the bad one and feeling worst

When your in-love and you dont want to be apart

How come its that when you kiss her your then a tart

When you make friends with someone you lost in the past

Why does everyone back away from you so very fast

When you decide to change and colour your hair

How come everyone in the street finds it amusing to stop and stare

When your really hyper and feel like having fun and being a bit of a freak

Why is it that people put you down and make you feel so weak

When you want to hold your girl's hand but her friends dont think your good enough

You just stand and look her in the eyes and think if I loves her enough

why dont you say its nothing to do with you so tough

When you feel there is nothing left in this cruel world for you

Just stop and think your not the only one there is other people too

Look in the mirror and smile at what you have got

Dont be as fragile anymore dont, look at what your not!

Emo

THe Un-sent Poem

2008-12-20T19:39:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I think it's just a crush,
that it is ok if its not me whom u like,
so once in a while i give myself a punch,
to tell me myself stop dreaming for you are my life..

You are my sunshine that never rains
I am whom you own and reign
like a sheep that can be either loved nor slaugthered
so please never let your feelings for me be faded..

I really miss you badly,
so i try to forget you
but i know , I'll live my life sadly
knowing that all i Love .. is You..

I tell myself to be patient, to give you time
But always get impatient waiting for you msg or call
each and everyday i wait for you're sign
to tell me its time for you to be mine...

So i try to close my eyes to get distracted
but all I see is you, whom i always wanted
I promise with my life I wont take you for granted
so please tell me if I'm ever.. Wanted..

From. H

2008-12-19T00:04:00.000-08:00

This is another emo post..

thinking back..
remembering all that we had done..
all that we shared..
from sweet to bitter..
everything slowly change..
the rain came.. but nvr stopped..
it flooded both my eyes..
though the feelings for me is gone..
how long have i not seen you..
now where are you ?
what are u thinking ?
now all i have is the memories that we had been together..
as i look out the window..
many times have i seen the image of your face..
i get closer to you and yet you vanish..
now i'm afraid that you'll even forget me..
why do we always regret after losing someone..
i didnt get the chance to say..
i wanna be with you till time ends..

From : H

2008-12-17T20:09:00.000-08:00

Now I know I messed up bad
You were the best I ever had
I let you down in the worst way
It hurts me every single day
I'm dying to let you know
Now I'm here to say
I'm sorryAnd ask for a second chance
Cause when it all comes down to the end
I could sure use a friend
So many things
I would take back
You were the best I ever had
I don't blame you for hating me
I didn't mean to make you leave
You and I were living like a love song
I feel so bad, I feel so bad that you're gone
Now I know you're the only one that I want
I want you back, I want you
I can't believe that
I threw away all our dreams
I can't believe now that you're gone how much you mean to me
I feel so bad, I feel so bad
You were the best I ever had
I can't believe that I threw away all our dreams
I can't believe now that you're gone how much you mean to me
I feel so bad, I feel so bad
You were,
You were the best I ever had..

2008-12-12T21:20:00.000-08:00

WTF........
WHY MY LIFE SUCK TO THE MAXXXXXXXX...
AFTER I OFF MY ENGINE.. EVERYTHING DONT SEEM TO GO ACCORDING TO PLAN...
NOT ONE BIT..
FALLING FOR THE WRONG ONE.. GETTING HURT LIKE A DICK HEAD..

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
>> I JUST CANT BE YOUR FRIEND <<

Waitin..
I’ll wait, any time or place..
depending on your feelings..
i have no doubts..
this is love..
i'm guessing that you've always wanted to make it clear..
i'm disappointed in myself..
from heaven, i drop down into the abyss..
i'm so helpless..
i'm willing to change..
what can i do ?
to start afresh from the beginnning..
just give me a chance..
There is no way that I can just be an ordinary friend..
My feelings are so deep..
How can you tell me to just let go?
But you say to me that you only want to be my friend..
In your heart I am only a friend and not a lover..
I appreciate you telling me how you feel..
But the love that I feel for you, I cannot take back..
so I can’t just be your friend..
I’m not just going to be an ordinary friend..

Best Poem Ever Written.. For my New Life..

2008-12-08T08:28:00.001-08:00

This life.. Has been ok.. A lot of ups.. And more Downs..
i've met this girl on Naomi's Bday..
I dont know is she the right one..
or..
Am i the right one for her..
Though she attracts me a lot.. but still.. haiz..
This Poem is dedicated to her..

Titled - How I Feel..
You have no idea how i feel..
But i know my feelings are for real..
I've watched you from far..
I've even prayed on every star..
That one day.. You'll feel the same..
Your heart and soul i will proclaim..
I've tried to tell you but words fail..
My heart skips a beat and my skin turns pale..
What if you reject my every advance?
What if you don't give romance a chance?
But soon.. I'll be ready to lose pride..
For i know I'll regret if I've not tried..
So do tell me if we could be..
For it would mean every single thing to me..

Truly Your's.. Jay

Naomi..

2008-10-14T04:59:00.000-07:00

Naomi..
how much do i love you..
even i dont know tat..
But.. NO matter what..
what i know is i DO..
Love you..
Nothing can change the fact tat..
u were my girl..
my love..
my life..
i waited for ages..
for a girl like u..
to come and save me..
why cant me be together..
make this world..
a perfect world..
for Us.. two..

im sure it'll work..
the world of mine without you..
is like a night sky without stars..
nothing to brighten it up..
nothing to acompany the moon..
ill be strong this time..
even if the world destructs..
even the sky colapse on me..
every tear i cry..
i cry for you..
every timme i live..
i live for you..

nothing can be compared to you..
if there is something i can sacrifice now..
just to be with you..
ill DO IT NOW !
without a single second of hestation..
my dreams..
our dreams..
are just infront of us..
why dont we go and make it come true..
lets forget about everything else..
and go over the sea
fly to the heavens in the sky..
today..
ill rejoice for ive met you..
its the natural thing to do..
i wont let anyone to interupt us..
ill forget about EVERYTHING ELSE..

i want us to be ONE..
i want to fly up to the sky..
a sky that exist for only both for us..
where angels celebrate our love..

how lucky we are ..
from friends into lovers..
for lovers into soulmates..
even the sun is not as glaring as your beauty..

all i ever wanted to do..
is to be with you..
having live the rest of my life..
with you..
i want to hold you in my arms..
play a song for only you..
feel my heart as it beats for you..
life seems so boring without you..
ive waited for ages for the existance such as you..
now.. i finally found you..
how close we are to that happy ending..
im yours..
stay beside me..
and heaven shall exist down on earth..
Believe not in me..
but the love we shared..
believe we're not dreaming..
for reality is we do exist for our love..

You're too special for me to forget..
every time i see your face..
your sweet innocent smile..
makes my life shine with happiness..
we used to share this love..
this pure love ..
not comtaminated by any other elements..
God has put me on this earth to look for you..
to be with you..
to hold you..
i cant hold back my tears anymore..
i cant stand not hearing your voice..
this burning flame inside me..
wants to burn a love hole into my chest..
revealling all that i want to show you..
ive never stop hoping..
i dont believe that was just a dream..
im stuck in this dark corner..
waiting for my death..
the sun now shines.. but my eyes refuses to look at it..
every beam of light..
every strip of hope..
reminds me of you..
why must we suffer like this..
why is this so pain..
why the ocean can be so calm even when my heart is screaming ?
i want to go back..
back into time..
the time when i have nothing to care..
nothing but you..
now..
i give up my life..
ill give you anything ..
ill give you..my life..
anything and everything that i can ever have..
dont ask me..
why cant i move on..
i dont know the answer..
all i know is i want you..
i need you..
that you and i..
our love will nvr die..
the sky that shines for you and me..
i watch as the sun sets down the horizon..
i still remember ..
The day i kissed you.. and You were Mine..
someone signed me up for love..
i didnt want it..
because now i cant live without it..
only you can make me feel so..
you know me..like nobody knows..
no one can be compared to you..
thousand of stars shine for you and me..
now slowly.. one by one.. goes missing..
knowing that my days are comin to an end..
allow me to steal your shadow.. To shade me from this pain..
allow me to steal your images.. In my mind..
ive often dream about you and me..
we were out there.. happily together..
and your voice.. saying..
i love you..
i want to be with you..
for your love is worth my life that ill be there for you..
to ask me to forget you..
is like asking me to jump from the highest point..
i just cant stop loving you..
i can pretend to say goodbye..
but i dont want to lie to you anymore..
no.. i wont stop loving you..
Why SHOULD I ???
Be with me.. one more time..
i want to hold you in my arms once again..
let me protect you one more time..
no matter what you say..
you'll be in my heart..
living in there..
now and always..
there are things in life..
that will happen if you keep believing in it..
trust me one more time..
take a look through my eyes..
you can see the truth inside them..
every single word i say will not be just words for you to believe..
it will be everything ill have to do..
that shows how much i want you..
how much i need you..
everything changes..
but not love..
dont leave me here..
i cant afford to lose you..
all the things that you can change..
not this please..
you'll be amazed what you find..
Please..
Just take a look through my eyes..
and tell me.. what you've found..

The One Whom Lives For You..
Jay..

Ive Found out.. My true feelings..

2008-09-28T08:47:00.000-07:00

I've came to know..
I'm Desparate for You..
I'm having grief everytime i find myself awake..
i tried to let it go.. but i cant..
i found out..
To spare oneself from grief at all costs,
can be achieved only at the price of total detachment,
which Includes the ability to experience Happiness..
What people say that The greatest griefs are those we cause ourselves...
is indeed true..
But for me.. its Tearless..
Tearless grief bleeds inwardly..
I can feel it bleeding every single second im a alive..
I love you so.. why must we say goodbye..
Why does it take a minute to say hello and forever to say goodbye?
I dont want to say bye to you..
No matter what..
There are no good-byes, where ever we are, you’ll always be in my heart.
A good-bye is never painful unless you’re never going to say hello again.
Being strong sometimes means being able to let go.
Then ill admit.. Im not strong..
I'm as weak as u make me..
Where is the “good” in goodbye?
All i know.. is that what we shared before..
Was good.. not now..
Now is worst as Hell..
I rather burn in there for eternity..
Than to live here.. slowly..
Dying...
Sometimes you have to let go of someone to see if there’s anything there to hold on to.
Sometimes you have to let go of the one you love to find out if there is really something there.
Now.. I've let go.. please come back..
i need you so badly..
It is the Beginning of something simple
and the End of everything else.
I’m torn between what was and what could be.
People try to tell me..
Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.
Finally I found out..
How hard it was to lose something you ever wanted to have..
A part of you has grown in me,
together forever we shall be,
never apart,
maybe in distance,
but not in the heart.
The world is round and the place which may
seem like the beginnning
may also be the end.
Our song.. Ive always listen to..
The song is ended,
but the melody lingers on.
Now.. i finnally understood..
That im not a genius for love..
The real genius for love
lies not in getting into,
but getting out of love.
My love........
If I had a single flower for every time I think about you,
I could walk forever in my garden.
I dont want to wake up now..
I don’t want to wake up and realize
what I was dreaming was right in front of my shut eyes.
I want to stop saying hellos..
for fear of saying goodbyes..
U are Beautiful..
However..
The definition of a beautiful woman is one who loves me.
You don’t love a woman because she is beautiful,
but she is beautiful because you love her.
Each time I miss you,
a star falls down from the sky.
So, if you looked up at the sky and found it dark with no stars,
it is all your fault.
You made me miss you too much!
I really Do miss you..
People ask.. when will you wake up ?
When will you stop missing her..?
When will you Stop loving her..
I told them..
I once went to the ocean..
I dropped a tear in the ocean.
and..
The day you find it is the day I will stop missing Her.
The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected.

Although we’ve come to the end of the road,
still I can’t let you go,
it’s unnatural,
you belong to me,
I belong to you ...
Love..

Giving Up.. On Life..

2008-09-08T03:38:00.000-07:00

Another Emo song..

-Berhenti Berharap..

Aku tak percaya lagi
dengan apa yang kau beri
aku terdampar di sini
tersudut menunggu mati
aku tak percaya lagi
akan guna matahari
dengan mampu menerangi
sudut gelap hati ini
aku berhenti berharap
dan menunggu datang gelap
sampai nanti suatu saat
tak ada cinta kudapat
kenapa ada derita
bila bahagia tercipta
kenapa ada sang hitam
bila putih menyenangkan...

Chorus:
aku pulang...tanpa dendam
kuterima.. kekalahanku
aku pulang...tanpa dendam
kusalutkan.. kemenanganmu

bridge:
kau ajarkan aku.... bahagia
kau ajarkan aku.... derita
kau tunjukkan aku.... bahagia
kau tunjukkan aku.... derita
kau berikan aku.... bahagia
kau berikan aku.... derita

The Sweetest thing..

2008-08-15T08:02:00.001-07:00

These two things really talk about the love life that has passed.. please. Enjoy..

The Song..

PAST
You’re in my arms
And all the world is calm
The music playing on for only two
So close together
And when I’m with you
So close to feeling alive
A life goes by
Romantic dreams will stop
So I bid my goodbye and never knew
So close was waiting, waiting here with you
And now forever I know
All that I wanted to hold you
So close
So close to reaching that famous happy end
Almost believing this was not pretend
And now you’re beside me and look how far we’ve come
So far... we are... so close

NOW
How could I face the faceless days
If I should lose you now?
So close
So close
And still so far..

THINKING BACK.. AND NOW..
The best thing about tonight's that we're not fighting
Could it be that we have been this way before
I know you don't think that I am trying
I know Im already.. HURT down To the Core

I always swore to you i'd never fall apart
You always thought that I was stronger
I may of failed
But I have loved you from the start

But hold your breathe..
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
Your impossible to find

My Heart's Message..
This is not what I intended..
I really wanted you to be a part of me..
But I know that i've been a loser..
I've Never thought I'd Live Without you here..
I just know I LOVE YOU..
Nothing can change that..
Time seems too weak to Erase this feelings..
Never have I thought I'd miss you as much as i do NOW..

LASTLY..
For now..
I Miss You,
More and More..
Each day..
More Than Yesterday..
Less Than Tomorrow..

~ Jay..

Flirtish

2008-08-12T05:29:00.000-07:00

Today.. ntg much can be said.. same old stoning in the house.. came back from school.. wen to the pool saw Francior.. and his girlfriend ~~ and the gf's brother. lol they were.. kissing.. kissing.. and kissing.. the whole time kissing.. when we sitting in towerblock.. kissing.. come down by lift.. kissing.. bring them to bangsar.. kissing.. De Haven kissing.. ARGH >.< why cant i kiss ?? lol.. anyway. i already know the answer. haha.. ok.. this is stupid. ppl say it can release things.. stuff. its nt really working. lol. mayb coz ppl doint know about it.. lol .. but i dunn wanna let ppl know. so ? how ?
in De Haven.. cystal and wen jun came. crystal know sheesha comin so she cancelled her.. "go early to tuition plan" ( yes !! temptation plan SUCCESS >.< ) so she had a few puff then she go.. after tat.. i went after around 25 mins.. was late for tuition. told teacher my fren was sick .. nice excuse ? lol .. after tat.. come back.. now in my house.. stoning as usual and writing this post For Me Myself and I.. lol.. tata ^^

!st Day of Life

2008-08-11T05:09:00.000-07:00

Reading people's blog.. From friends.. all of them said.. blogging can release your Pressure.. or wtv inside.. Though i'm nt really planning to spill all my personal life here. but.. yeah.. just wanna try it out and if it does work.. i'll think about it ^^
Today is the 1st day. 1st breath of this blog. so.. dont expect much..
This blog is 1 day younger than me so to speak.. so.. lets see how it goes..
Yesterday.. went out with friends.. went to watch... tat CROC movie.. its was.. somehow.. bored.. and short.. BUT FULLLLL OF SUSPENS AND BLOOOD >.< lol but it was kinda shocking each time tat 6 m long corc come and bite someone off. haha..
Its been almost 2 week now. ( if those whom are close. You would understand ) life is somehow.. short.. and long. i wish it would end now. after THAT incident. dont really have much will/reason to live. though this may sound stupid but i've gone through this and its very very LONG.. last one took 4 years just to get my mind of her. This is really tiring.. After i've put my heart to it.. and *puff* its gone.. I REALLY DO LOVE HER !!! but what can i do ? or.. What should i do ? wanna few choices ?
1 . Shot myself in the head and get over with it ?
2 . Go for another try when she said its impossible ?
3 . Stone around and wait till she turns back ? ( almost impossible for her )
4 . Just give up and go look for one whom i can love ?
5 . Just give up and go back to what took my 2.5 years to retire from ?
6 . Give up girls..
Still dont know.. anyone ? pls help..